A Rake's Progress through Keele

A Journal of, and Practical Guide to, University Life as a Dandy

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

filler - The Essential Geovictwardian Student Drinks Cabinet

Unfortunately, buried beneath the weight of work, social commitments, and a looming essay deadline, I can only provide this paltry filler after the long period of inactivity.
Nevertheless, the information contained within this entry is vital, as it deals with the matter of alcohol, a subject that is dear to every student's heart.

Thanks must go to Albion for his learned recommendations on this matter.

For a Geovictwardian, the drinks in his drinks cabinet (or the shelf on the bookshelf that fulfils that purpose) should be divided between those for three main purposes.

  1. Personal private consumption. This should for the discerning gentleman consist of Black Bottle scotch whiskey (a fine blended scotch that provides the benefits and fine taste of single malt Islay whiskeys at a fraction of the cost), or for the more effiminate or refined gentleman, Bombay Sapphire.

  1. Private entertaining of female company. There can only be one form of drink suitable for this role for the Geovictwardian:- gin. The best gins for the job are Bombay Sapphire (looks good on the drinks tray, can be drunk neat, can be blended wonderfully with Rose's Lime Juice to make a real Gimlet), or Sloe Gin (which also works well for outdoor consumption for you more active country folks, when poured into a hipflask). Of course, with its links to our friends in the New Sheridan Club/Chap, and their association with the Chap Olympics, it goes without saying that Hendrick's has already well established itself as a drink for those with dandyist tendancies.

  1. Entertaining large groups, parties, and social club meetings. For this, the true Geovictwardian will overlook the vulgar popular alcopops and vodka, and the basic ales and lagers, instead choosing cider (long seen as the mark of the discerning student). By far the finest cider is Scrumpy, though for those discouraged by its lethal potency, Weston's provides a decent substitute, as do any (cloudy) cider from Herefordshire or Somerset, and even Old English will do at a pinch.

In general, wines are to be avoided for all but the largest social events, as the need for the entire bottle to be consumed in one sitting once opened encourages drunkeness. Cheap ciders, especially "white lightning" should be avoided at all costs, as their quality justifies their consumption only by the lowest level of the social order, "chav" society.



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